Hey love,
If your heart feels like it’s been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces right now, I just want to say—I see you. And I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Whether it was a breakup, a betrayal, a divorce, or a deep loss, this kind of pain? It can feel like it swallows the air right out of your lungs.
Maybe you’re crying in waves you didn’t expect.
Maybe you’re numb—going through the motions, unsure of what to feel.
Or maybe you’re angry. So angry.
Maybe you’re wondering how someone could love you one day and leave you the next.
Maybe you’re asking God why this happened. Why now. Why like this?
Whatever you’re feeling, I want you to know it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel every single emotion that’s rising up. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and there’s no timeline for when things should start making sense. There’s just you. And this moment. And the grace to simply be—even if being feels messy, raw, and unfamiliar.
You’re not alone here.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not weak.
You’re a woman who loved deeply, and when something or someone you loved is torn away… of course, it hurts. That hurt is sacred—it means your heart still works, you cared, and you’re human.
And even if everything feels broken right now, please hear this:
Even in pieces, you are still whole in God’s eyes
This isn’t the end of your story. It’s the beginning of your healing.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You just need to breathe—and know you’re being held.
We’ll walk this road together, one gentle step at a time.
Heartbreak Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken Forever
I know it may feel like your whole world has just crumbled. Like you’ve been shattered into someone you don’t even recognize anymore. But hear me when I say this:
This heartbreak? It doesn’t get to define you.
What happened to you is real. And yes, it hurts in places you didn’t even know existed. But this moment- this tear-streaked, soul-weary, aching moment- is not the sum total of who you are.
You are more than the goodbye.
You are more than the betrayal.
You are more than the text that never came or the broken promises.
This is a chapter in your story—not the final one. It’s a hard, heart-wrenching chapter, yes. But not the whole book. There are still pages waiting to be written with laughter, love, peace, and purpose. There are still parts of you that will rise, rebuild, and shine again.
Let me remind you of something you may have forgotten in the rubble:
You are still worthy. You are still radiant. You are still deeply, unshakably valuable.
Your worth didn’t walk away with them.
It didn’t crumble with the relationship.
It didn’t disappear just because things didn’t work out the way you hoped.
This isn’t a reflection of your failure. This is the start of your healing.
So please don’t confuse being hurt with being unlovable.
Don’t confuse this detour with being lost.
You are not the one who failed. You are the one who’s healing.
And healing is holy work.
So take your time, beautiful soul. The brokenness is not your end, but it’s your turning point.
What to Do in the First Few Days
When heartbreak is fresh, everything feels loud. The silence, the memories, the ache in your chest. It’s like your mind won’t stop spinning and your body won’t stop feeling… everything.
So let’s slow it all down.
You don’t have to figure everything out right now.
You don’t have to “be strong” or “move on” just because someone else thinks you should.
Right now, you just need to breathe—and be gentle with yourself.
Here are a few small, loving things you can do in these first tender days
1. Let the Tears Come
Crying doesn’t mean you’re falling apart—it means you’re letting go. Your body has its own wisdom, and sometimes it speaks through tears. Let them come in waves. Let them cleanse. Let them carry away the things that were never meant to stay.
You are not weak for feeling deeply. You are healing. Don’t bottle it up; permit yourself to feel every bit of this grief. You’re not being dramatic. You’re being real.
2. Write it Out
Grab a notebook, the back of a receipt, or the Notes app on your phone, whatever’s within reach. Write down everything that’s circling in your heart: the confusion, the anger, the sorrow, the unanswered questions.
You don’t need to edit yourself.
You don’t need to make it pretty. This is not about grammar; this is about freedom. Writing helps you untangle what’s knotted inside. Sometimes your own words will surprise you. Let them.
3. Talk to God- Raw and Real
God is not waiting for you to get it together. He’s not asking for polished prayers or spiritual performances. He wants your heart, however broken, however tired.
So talk to Him. Whisper through your tears. Sit with Him in silence. Yell if you need to. Collapse into His grace. Even the words you can’t say? He hears those, too.
God, I don’t even know what to say… but I need You.” That’s a prayer. And it’s enough.
4. Just Rest
This kind of pain drains more than emotions; it saps your energy, focus, and motivation. You might feel like you can’t do anything right now… and that’s okay.
Your job is not to hustle through heartbreak. Your job is to heal. So rest, take naps in the middle of the day.
Wrap yourself in a blanket and let the world pause. Give your nervous system time to reset.
Rest is not weakness, it’s restoration.
5. Do the Simple Things
You don’t need to climb a mountain today. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is drink a glass of water, take a hot shower, wash your hair, or eat a warm bowl of something nourishing.
These aren’t just tasks; they’re tiny victories that remind your body you are still here, worthy, and alive.
Don’t underestimate the power of a slow walk, a clean face, or freshly washed sheets. These small acts are little things that help you begin to mend.
6. Ask for What You Need
You don’t have to carry this alone, and the truth is you weren’t made to. Reach out to someone safe. That could be a friend, a sister, or a mentor. For me, it was my mom.
You don’t even have to explain everything; you want someone who can hold space with you.
It’s okay to want company. It’s OK to need quiet. It’s OK to want someone to remind you that you’re not invisible.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of courage. And the people who love you? They want to show up for you. Let them.
Most importantly?
Be kind to yourself. Speak to your heart as you would speak to a child who’s just been hurt: gently, tenderly, with endless compassion.
Speak Kindly to Yourself
The voice that speaks to you in your head right now? It matters more than you know.
Heartbreak has a sneaky way of turning up the volume on every insecurity.
Suddenly, you’re not just hurting, you’re questioning your worth. You start hearing whispers like:
“Maybe I wasn’t enough.”
“I should’ve seen it coming.”
“Why can’t I ever get it right?”
Let’s stop that voice right here.
Because while this season is painful, it does not give your inner critic the right to run wild. This is not the time to attack yourself—it’s the time to be extra tender with your soul.
Imagine you were talking to a friend who just had her heart broken. Would you blame her? Call her foolish? Shame her for loving? No, you’d hold her. You’d speak gently. You’d remind her of her beauty and value.
Sweetie, you deserve that same kindness.
Here’s something powerful to remember:
Your self-talk becomes your soul’s soundtrack.
So let’s make sure it’s healing, not hurting.
Try whispering these truth-reminders to yourself:
- “I did the best I could with what I knew.”
- “I am not unlovable because someone couldn’t love me properly.”
- “I’m allowed to grieve and still believe in better days.”
- “My worth is not up for debate.”
- “This pain is part of my healing, not my definition.”
When You Don’t Know What to Pray, Whisper This
Heartbreak has a way of leaving us speechless. You might find yourself staring at the ceiling, Bible closed, tears rolling down, and feeling completely empty. You want to pray, but the words are stuck somewhere deep beneath the weight of your grief.
Let me tell you something gently and truthfully: God hears the prayers you can’t say out loud.
The sighs. The silence. The sobs. The confusion. They all count.
Romans 8:26 reminds us that “the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Isn’t that beautiful? Even when you can’t speak, He still listens. He still understands.
So if your mouth can’t form a sentence but your heart is breaking wide open, that’s okay. Here’s a whisper of a prayer you can hold onto:
“God… I don’t have the words. I just know I’m hurting. Please hold me. Remind me that You’re still here. I don’t know how this will get better, but I believe You can turn this pain into something new. Be near to me, even in the silence. Amen.”
Don’t worry about praying perfectly, just pray honestly.
Even if all you can say is:
- “Jesus, help.”
- “Lord, be near.”
- “God, I can’t do this alone.”
That is enough. He’s not looking for polished prayers—He’s looking for you.
Now, there would be times when prayer feels hard for you
- Play a worship song and sit quietly( my personal favorite)
- Write a letter to God, even if it’s messy and tear-stained
- Read a single verse and let it hold you for the day
You Are Still Chosen and Cherished
When your heart breaks, it can feel like you were the one left behind. Rejected. Forgotten. Cast aside. You may even start wondering if something about you made this happen… if you’re too much, not enough, or somehow unworthy of love.
But that’s a lie straight from the pit of pain, and it has no place in your healing.
Here’s the unshakeable truth:
You are still chosen. You are still cherished. You are still completely and eternally loved.
This heartbreak didn’t cancel your worth.
The end of this relationship didn’t affect your value.
The person who walked away didn’t take God’s promises with them.
You are not abandoned. You are held by the One who calls you beloved even in your lowest valley.
If no one else has told you today, let me remind you:
- You are loved beyond measure.
- You are seen, even in your tears.
- You are not forgotten, even when it feels like everyone moved on.
- You are still a woman of purpose, power, and profound beauty.
This pain is part of your journey, not the end of it. And while someone may have walked away, God never has.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
Things Will Not Always Feel This Heavy
I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but I promise you: this heaviness won’t last forever. When I went through a separation and eventual divorce after just three years of marriage, it felt like the whole world had crashed on me.
Right now, the pain feels sharp and constant. I know. But pain has a strange way of softening over time. Not because what happened didn’t matter, but because you’re learning how to carry it differently. You’re growing stronger muscles. You’re building deeper roots. You’re becoming someone even more grounded, wise, and beautifully whole.
There will come a day when you won’t cry when you hear that song.
A moment when your chest won’t tighten at the sound of their name.
A time when you’ll look back, not with bitterness, but with peace.
It might not be today.
It might not be tomorrow.
But healing always comes, quietly, slowly, faithfully, one breath, one prayer, one sunrise at a time.
You’re Not Alone—Others Have Risen From This Too
It might feel like you’re the only one walking through this kind of pain.
Like everyone else is moving on, smiling, thriving… while you’re quietly trying to gather the pieces of your heart and figure out how to keep going.
But I need you to know something:
You are not alone.
Not in this pain. Not in this season. Not in this process of healing.
There are women—so many women—who have sat in the exact same silence you’re sitting in now. Who have stared at the ceiling at 2AM wondering how they’ll survive the morning. Who have been left, betrayed, misunderstood, or heartbroken… and who thought they’d never feel whole again.
But guess what?
They did.
They rose.
And you will too.
And if you need permission, here it is:
You don’t have to pretend to be okay.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to keep showing up for yourself, one tiny step at a time.
I’ve walked through heartbreak too, friend. I know what it feels like to be shattered and yet still have to function. But I also know the beauty of resurrection. Of rebuilding from the ground up. Of finding God in the ashes.
And it’s not just me. There’s a whole sisterhood of women who’ve turned their heartbreak into wisdom, their wounds into empathy, their silence into strength. You’re becoming one of them.
Let This Be the Beginning of Your Healing Journey
If you’ve made it this far into the post, pause for a moment and take a deep breath.
Not a shallow, rushed breath, a real one.
Because you just did something powerful.
You showed up for yourself. You chose to feel, to read, to reflect. That, my friend, is bravery.
This moment, right here, can be the turning point.
Not because everything magically gets better overnight, but because you choose healing.
You’re choosing not to let heartbreak have the final word.
You’re choosing to rebuild, with tenderness, truth, and God’s help.
Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel strong. Other days, you’ll want to crawl under the covers and disappear. But every day that you choose to care for yourself, even in the smallest way, is a win.
So let this be your beginning.
Let God rewrite this chapter into something redemptive. Let grace hold the pen. Let faith hold your hand.
And when you’re ready, step forward.
Not because you’re finished healing. But because you’re choosing to keep going.
Because you are still here, and you are still worthy of love, joy, purpose, and peace.
With all my heart, I believe this
You will rebuild. You will rise. You will be okay again—and then some.
With love and hope,
Dr. Janet
