Hey love,
If you’ve found your way here, chances are your heart is heavy. Maybe it feels like it’s been shattered into pieces you don’t even know how to pick up. Perhaps you’ve been crying all night, or maybe you haven’t cried at all and feel numb.
Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s okay.
Breakups hurt in a way that words can’t always explain. That pain can come crashing like waves, whether it ended yesterday or a few weeks ago. One minute you feel fine, and the next you’re curled up in bed wondering how to move forward.
Let me say this clearly:
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not dramatic.
You’re someone who cared. Someone who hoped. Someone who loved deeply.
And now you’re hurting, and that makes complete sense.
This space? It’s just for you. No pressure to “get over it.” No pretending to be strong when you don’t feel strong at all. You don’t have to hide your heart here.
I want you to know that you’re not alone in this, even if it feels like no one understands. I’ve been there. So have so many other women. And if you’re ready, I’m here to walk you through this, one gentle step at a time.
You’re allowed to take a breath here.
You’re allowed to feel everything.
And most of all, you’re going to be okay.
What “Feeling Broken” Actually Feels Like
Let’s be real, feeling broken isn’t just a dramatic phrase people toss around. It’s something that lives in your chest, in your body, and in your thoughts.
It can feel like your heart is bruised, like there’s an invisible weight pressing down on your chest. Maybe you’re crying so much it surprises you. Or perhaps you haven’t cried at all, and you’re just sitting there staring at the wall, feeling nothing. That’s the thing about heartbreak: it shows up in various ways.
Some days, you might feel angry.
Other days, you might feel really sad.
And sometimes? You might feel both at the same time.
Here’s the truth: Nothing is wrong with you. You’re grieving.
You’re grieving not just the person but also the hopes, plans, and the version of the future you pictured. That’s a big deal, and it’s a profound loss.
Feeling broken doesn’t mean you’re broken forever. It just means you’re in a tender moment, and your heart is trying to figure out how to keep beating when someone it trusted is no longer there.
It’s messy, it’s heavy, but it’s also normal. You are a human being with a big, beautiful heart, and that heart has been through a lot.
So, if you feel shattered today, I want you to hear this: You’re not alone in this feeling, and you won’t feel this way forever.
Even if you don’t believe it right now, healing is slowly, quietly, and faithfully coming.
The Myth of “Having It All Together”
Can we go ahead and say it? You don’t have to have it all together right now.
There’s this weird pressure, especially after a breakup, to act like you’re totally fine.
To show up to work with a smile, to post a cute selfie like you’re unbothered, to tell everyone, “I’m good, it’s for the best,” even though your heart feels like it’s still living in yesterday.
The world might expect you to move on fast, but your heart deserves more than a rushed recovery.
You don’t need to be the strong one all the time, you don’t need to keep it together for anyone else’s comfort. This is your heartbreak, not their performance.
Now, crying doesn’t make you weak, feeling lost doesn’t make you dramatic, and not wanting to get out of bed today doesn’t make you lazy. It makes you human.
Being human sometimes means falling apart, so you can rebuild in a new, wiser, more beautiful way.
So, if you’re sitting there thinking, “Why can’t I just be over this already?” please pause, breathe, and remind yourself that healing isn’t a race. You’re allowed to go slow, rest, and be real.
Why You’re Not Alone in This Pain
I know it feels like no one gets it. Like you’re sitting in a world that kept spinning while yours fell apart.
It can feel like you’re the only one who loved so hard, only to be left behind. The only one still checking your phone, hoping for a message. The only one who can’t sleep, can’t eat, or can’t stop thinking.
But listen closely, love: You are not alone in this pain.
There are so many women, maybe even some you know, who have felt this same kind of heartbreak.
They’ve cried the same tears, asked the same questions, and felt that same ache in their chest.
This pain you’re carrying? It’s shared.
Not because your story isn’t special, but because heartbreak is a very human.
It touches moms, sisters, businesswomen, dreamers, church girls, and the strongest of the strong.
And the wild thing? Most of us never talk about it. We go silent, isolate, and smile through it. And that makes it feel even lonelier.
But I want you to know, right here and now: You’re part of a quiet sisterhood. A hidden army of women who’ve felt broken and survived it.
You Are Not Defined by What Broke You
It might feel like your entire identity just shattered.
You were someone’s person, and you built dreams together.
You gave your heart, your time, your love, and now it feels like what’s left is just the pain.
But let me tell you something deeply important: This heartbreak is something you’re going through,
It is not who you are.
You are not the relationship that ended, you are not the rejection, and you are definitely not the unanswered texts or the things they didn’t see in you.
You are so much more.
Right now, it might feel like your story has been reduced to this one painful chapter. But girl, your life is a whole book, and this isn’t even the final plot twist.
Yes, this part hurts, yes, it feels unfair, but this breaking point isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of something new.
Sometimes, what feels like the worst moment of your life becomes the doorway to the most powerful transformation you’ve ever known.
A new strength, confidence, and peace that doesn’t come from someone else choosing you, but from you choosing yourself.
So please, don’t believe the lie that you are “damaged goods.” You’re not broken beyond repair. You’re breaking open into someone braver.
Healing Isn’t a Straight Line, and That’s Okay
Let’s talk about healing—real healing.
Not the kind where you wake up one morning, smile at the sun, and suddenly feel magically better. I’m talking about the real, raw, messy kind that’s full of ups and downs.
The truth is, healing isn’t a straight line; it’s an emotional rollercoaster, and that’s completely normal.
One day, you might feel hopeful again, laugh at something silly, make plans with friends, and think, “Hey, maybe I’m okay.”
But then the next day, a memory, a song, an old photo hits you out of nowhere. And suddenly, you’re back in that sad, sinking place.
But listen to me: Relapsing into sadness doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re still healing.
Healing is not about deleting the pain; it’s about learning to carry it with more grace and less heaviness over time. It’s about slowly rebuilding trust with yourself and finding peace in little moments, like taking a deep breath that actually feels good again.
Some days will feel like progress, while others will feel like survival. Both count.
And every tear, prayer, and moment you choose not to give up is proof that you are healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
What to Hold Onto in This Season
You still need something to hold onto in a season full of loss, confusion, and aching silence. Something steady. Something kind.
Here’s what I want you to wrap around your heart like a warm blanket:
1. You’re Still Loved
Even if someone walked away… love didn’t. God’s love didn’t. The love within you didn’t. How you gave, trusted, and showed up is not gone. It still exists. And it still matters.
2. This Pain Has a Purpose
It’s hard to see it now, but this pain is shaping something new in you. You are developing strength and growing in wisdom and Compassion. You’re becoming a version of yourself you’ve never met before.
3. You’re Allowed to Take Care of Yourself
Right now, survival might look like:
- Drinking water
- Going for a walk
- Saying no to things that drain you
- Writing out your feelings without editing them
- Reading a Bible verse that steadies your soul
These things aren’t small. These are acts of self-respect in a world that wants you to rush through your pain.
4. You Don’t Have to Pretend
Not here, with me, or with the people who truly love you. Let it be if today is a “cry in the shower” kind of day.
If you feel joy tomorrow, let that live, too. There’s no wrong way to feel; it’s just your way.
5. God Is Still Near
You may not feel him, heck, you may even be angry or numb. But Scripture whispers what your heart might need to hear: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
—Psalm 34:18
You Don’t Have to Heal Alone
Let me say something that might go against what you’ve been telling yourself:
You don’t have to do this alone.
Yes, you’re strong. Yes, you’ve survived so much already. But even the strongest hearts weren’t meant to heal in isolation.
There’s something powerful about letting someone sit beside you in your sadness. Someone who doesn’t rush you. Someone who doesn’t throw cliché advice at your wounds. Just someone who says, “I see you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Whether that support comes from a trusted friend, a therapist, a church community, or even a healing group of women walking through their heartbreak, you deserve it.
You were never meant to carry this by yourself.
And if you’re here reading this, know I’m here for you too. This space and words were created to remind you that you matter, your healing matters, and you can receive help.
I’m cheering for you. Always.
With all my heart,
Dr. Janet
